It is much much later now but I am back

Holy crap what a ride is has been and looks to continue to be. Today we are starting on the Balkan ware and I am going to tray to wargame it with them.

Just pissed off a female student. When I caught her writing a love note I joked about it and got nothing but grief back.

The Holy Groove

God I felt beat up this week. I really tried my best to do the damn paperwork the way they wanted it done...but during my weekly review it just doesn't seem to get any better. The only thing keeping me going right now is my friend Carol and here encouragement.

Seems to me the place is being run by thugs.

I guess the only other thing actually keeping me going is the after school program although I am finding that I have little energy for that, but I am scraping it up.

Have been thinking about giving up the after school program but that would seem like such a shame and would really be giving up what the teaching thing is all about.

Interesting how the groove comes together no matter what....give me an insight into the humanity of all people, but will have to save that for another post.

On Process, Paranoia and Paperwork

10.26.06

Yesterday was an hellatious day. For some reason all of the student want to cram their appointments in on that day. And, a lot of them need math. Add on top of tha the fact that my partner and myself and working on the California Math Project videos. Between keeping the students who were drifting in happy and trying to keep the continuity of the video going, it was a hell of a morning. What I am trying to come to terms with is that the process is the art. How you approach the work, how you feel while you are doing it, the spiritual gifts inherent in the process are what matters more than the finishe product.

A Couple of Weeks Later

It's been a long haul the last couple of weeks. But getting used to the idea of being on the remediation schedule. The paperwork is grueling though and it doesn't suit my personality but records have to be kept. My friend Caty says it's important to the kids and that's reason enought to do it. I need more of a reason to sit for hours at a desk putting tiny details on paper than because some beaurocrat says so.

Did my first math lesson with the digi blocks today on my own. A dismal failure that was.

Seriously doubting if I want to be teacher.

Today at least I felt like I was integrating a bit of my personality with the job.

I took 5 boys to the park today to take pictures. I felt pretty good about taking them to the park and showing them a bit of the basics of taking photo story pictures.

Tommorows friday and my neck hurts.

Music Blocks

This student rather was willing to be my test subject for my "music block" experiment.

First Entry

Last week after almost ten years on the job I was put into remediation. Just the word alone reeks of incompetenct to me. I hate it. And yet, the remediation meeting was not that bad and at this point I have no choice other than to jump through the hoops presented to me.

It is my intention to keep a public journal for a year regarding my progress or lack of progress in this journey.

We shall see.

Today, monday, was the first day since the meeting and, although it started ok, in my mind it went badly. All four hours of it. Jeez!

I am really doubting my ability to do the daily grind. It is the paperwork that makes me crazy. I just do not seem to have the concentration for it.

Again, we shall see.